What are you Grateful For?
How a regular gratitude practice can make you feel better
There is so much talk these days about the benefits of a gratitude practice. You might find yourself asking: What is it all about and what can it really do for me? Can it make me feel better? Can it improve my life? Or is it just a bunch of don’t-worry-be-happy-toxic-positivity?
As most of you know, I am a gratitude enthusiast. I believe in gratitude and have been singing its praises for years. Each day throughout November, I’ve posted something that I feel grateful for (30 Days of Gratitude) and today I want to take you with me on a deeper dive into the concept and practice of gratitude.
What can gratitude do for you?
One great thing about gratitude is that it can actually improve the way you feel in the moment that you are focusing on it. That’s because when thinking of something you feel grateful for you are turning your attention on purpose towards something positive, something that feels good, and this shifts your emotional state.
Years ago I read a quote from Tony Robbins that introduced me to the idea that you cannot be angry and grateful simultaneously. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I believed it at first, but over the years I have tested it and have found it to be quite powerful.
Regardless of what emotion I am experiencing, if I turn my focus towards something that I am truly feeling grateful for, that prior negative emotion loses strength. It loses some of its power over me. This is because my attention has been shifted away from the negative thoughts towards more positive ones.
Example: Let’s use parenting to talk about the power of gratitude in the moment. My daily gratitude practice occurs in the mornings before my kids wake up. Some mornings I might feel a left over sense of irritation about something my 10-year-old did or said the evening before. Instead of wallowing in the feeling of irritation, I focus my gratitude practice on something about Maddie that I absolutely adore – her infectious smile, her creative mind, or the way she snuggles me in the morning.
I really focus on it.
Slowly, the irritation starts to melt away and is replaced by a lovely feeling that I find myself wanting to cultivate. And then when Maddie gets out of bed and comes down to say good morning, I feel deep love and gratitude towards her rather than irritation.
*This can work great with a partner as well. =)
The in-the-moment benefits of gratitude are wonderful, but it actually gets even better! When you practice gratitude on a regular basis, the practice provides you with the opportunity to repeat the action of turning towards gratitude. And just like practicing any new skill. the more you repeat the action, the easier it will become for your brain to do it in the future.
Gratitude practice changes the brain
Just by acknowledging our appreciation for what we have in life, we can rewire the brain and make it more capable of dealing with present circumstances.
Often the automatic thoughts that pop into our brains tend to be more negative and critical than positive and uplifting.
We see it snowing outside and automatically think, “oh no, my commute is going to be so long this morning.” While it might be true that you commute will be longer, is focusing on that thought serving you? Wouldn’t it feel better to train your brain to see the snow falling and automatically think “Wow, that is really lovely. Look at the way the snow is coating the trees this morning.”
Your commute might still take some extra time, but now you are not allowing that circumstance to ruin your mood.
If you are someone who has automatic thoughts that tend towards the negative and you want to change them to be more positive, then a regular gratitude practice is one great way to do that.
Each time you intentionally turn towards gratitude, you are training your brain to respond to life in a more positive and healthy way. The act of focusing on gratitude can actually rewire the brain by creating and strengthening new neural pathways.
So if you consciously practice gratitude regularly, you can strengthen the positive neural pathways and ultimately create a permanent grateful and positive nature within yourself.
Practicing gratitude can also change the brain through of its capacity to increase certain neurochemicals. When your thinking shifts from negative to positive, there is a surge of feel-good chemicals (like dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin). These neurochemicals enhance our mood and contribute to feelings like happiness, closeness, and connection.
A few Benefits of Gratitude:
There are many benefits of gratitude, and here are just a few of my favorites. A regular gratitude practice can:
Enhance your positive emotions – this includes making you feel happier and more optimistic. Who doesn’t want that?
Reduce your stress-level – studies have shown that people who feel more grateful show reduced levels of cortisol (the stress hormone).
Increase your resilience – studies have shown that people who feel more grateful are more resilient to emotional setbacks and difficult experiences.
Improve your sleep – most likely because your brain is spending more time on positive thoughts than worried and negative thoughts. This can lead to better and longer sleep.
Improve your relationships -We tend to appreciate people in our lives more when we are actively practicing gratitude, which can lead to deeper and better relationships. Also, expressing gratitude releases a chemical in your brain called oxytocin. Oxytocin plays a role in building connections and bonds between people.
My Practice
My personal gratitude practice is simple and doesn’t take very much time. Every morning, I write down 3 things I am grateful for.
Sometimes this takes me 90 seconds. Sometimes I spend more time with it. Some days it comes easily and I quickly connect with deep gratitude. Other days I struggle a bit and need to close my eyes, take a few deep breaths and guide my brain towards something I feel grateful for.
I try never to write something that does not feel authentic. For example, if I am struggling with my job, I do not write “I’m so grateful for my job.” I might, however, try to think about something within my job that I do really feel grateful for – and then write about that. Or I might write “I’m grateful that I’m employed and that I have a job that provides money for my family.”
For me, the important part is that I can honestly connect with the feeling of gratitude while I’m writing.
Another practice that I’m not consistent with, but am working towards developing into a habit is the practice of:
What went well today?
This is another very simple practice. At the end of each day I either think about or write down the answer to the question – What went well for me today? Even if it was a rough day, this forces me to search my mind for something that went well and then place my focus on that thought instead of dwelling on what went wrong.
Those are my two favorite forms of gratitude practive, but there are so many other ways to it as well. Here are just a couple of easy ideas:
- Take gratitude walks.
- Express gratitude before meals.
- Write notes of gratitude to people in your life.
- Write notes of gratitude to yourself.
- Find a way to express gratitude through art.
- Create a gratitude jar.
- Talk to your kids or spouse about what they are grateful for.
If you take the opportunity to focus on the things that are good, I guarantee that you are going to find that your life is filled with more wonder and abundance than you ever realized. Gratitude practice is one of my favorite ways to do this. It is one of my favorite ways to cultivate wellness and happiness and to make the most of every single day.
What are you grateful for today?
